Who would have thought

that one move ONE MOVE would ruin three friendships.

First to .......

A friend of mine wrote not long ago: if I disappeared would you even miss me? I answered "I know of what you speak".
I know I am losing two good friends. No one's fault. Just circumstances change, people change. Yes, people change. Why I seem so often to be at the butt end of this I am not sure. (I guess that will be a whole 'nother blog huh, lol. OK, not lol.)
You get used to being first in line, first to share and share with.... but you can see and feel your own star dwindling long before it falls out of the sky.
I keep trying to tell myself that I HAVE been a good friend. I thought I gave way more than I took. I'm funny I'm caring. I *think* I am. But I guess people just....... change. The circle get redrawn and redrawn and redrawn until - well - it's not really on the same map anymore.
Ha you'd think I'd be used to it wouldn't you. Then whyyyyyyyyy is the adjustment so difficult? Why can't I be one of those cool people who just shrug and move on?
I want to be one of those people.

I have discovered

That the shower is an excellent place for sobbing. No one hears you, no one sees you, you have time to fix your eyes as best you can - and a cat is waiting to hug you when you finally emerge.