Ohhh it's just toooooooooooooo

too hard
too hard
too hard
too hard
too far
too many
too short
too little

it's just
too hard

Time to go

Go off and be by myself for a while. Withdraw from life.
There's a hundred things I could say and could ask but there are no answers no solutions so what would be the point.

The one left behind

When someone moves on, someone gets left behind.
I am losing a dear friend. In a way, my choice. (Strike first: defensive maneuver.)
The logistics just weren't working out anymore. I could pursue it further, harder, not let it die, but ... it takes two. A relationship takes two. Chances were given but not taken. One alone cannot sustain it all.
So, one moves on and the other is needed -well -not so much anymore. New things take on more importance so some other things will suffer.
Will it hurt, does it hurt? Hell yah. I feel the impact every day and I'm sure I will for a very long time to come. At some point even that will wane, they say that's how it works. Already have a number of scars, what's one more. Pffffffft. That's the risk you take when you care too hard, love too hard, try too hard .... you fall too hard. (Mom always said I was too sensitive, not that she was one to talk :) ).
Because the sun is always shining I will wait for the day that I can look back on these times with fondness and smiles, with wistfulness but no regrets.
I'll let you know what that day comes.